Miscarriages are Abortions

Trigger topics: Miscarriage, Pregnancy

“ When exactly is the moment my unborn baby girls goes from being a 'precious, innocent life to be protected' to a mandatory womb regardless of her health or circumstance?”

Thoughts from a Pregnant Mom at 3am

I’m awake staring at the ceiling again. Partly because this baby girl inside me keeps waking me up to go pee, but also because I can’t stop thinking about the events of the recent overturning of Roe v Wade.

For the past few weeks it has been a constant thought and refuses to let me return to my version of normal.

I will most certainly get push back from people championing “pro-life”. To them I say, pause with me, for just a minute and think more deeply into this topic. I think the pro life/pro choice labels have oversimplified a deep and difficult issue and we aren’t giving it the conversation it deserves.

I used to be pro life. I grew up in the church and from an early age was taught that pro choice was ALWAYS murdering a baby. When told about the women who got abortions, the conversation revolved around keeping their legs shut and adoption. That was it, no arguments could be made that overshadowed someone wanting to kill an innocent life in my mind. I was 12 when I went to my first (and only) pro life protest outside of the Planned Parenthood in Great Falls. I had ZERO idea of what I was waiving a sign around for.

I held these views through much of high school and college until I started to question what I believed and why. I think this is a crucial and healthy part of being an adult so that you know WHY you believe what you do, not just what you’ve been told to believe by your parents or various institutions. Over time as I got married, met people who had gotten abortions, went onto birth control and actually read what Planned Parenthood provided, I started adding more “Abortion should be allowed if…” criteria when the topic was brought up. In essence I started seeing the person with the occupied uterus, not JUST an unborn baby.

Fast forward to today. I’m almost 37 weeks pregnant and have had 6 abortions. This may be shocking, but it shouldn’t be. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. You know what the medical term for that is? Spontaneous Abortion. Abortion is a word that has been so demonized that I didn’t even know the medical applications for it until my 30s! Those 6 pregnancies all self terminated at 6-8 weeks. As I get ready to have this baby girl, that we very much want, I’m humbled by the fact that I will only be having this baby BECAUSE of the reproductive freedoms I was allowed under Roe v. Wade.

• I was not arrested and charged with manslaughter for any of my 6 spontaneous abortions and was allowed to grieve them.

• I was “lucky” enough to lose these pregnancies at home (but could have received a D&C to remove dead cells if necessary) without being charged with concealing a dead body.

• I was able to have testing done and have part of me uterus removed (the reason for the miscarriages) without anyone else’s approval.

• I did not need, but had the option of IVF that would allow collecting, freezing and implanting only some of my most viable eggs instead of having to risk implanting all fertilized embryos. (Huge risk to the mother)

• Once pregnant, I was able to talk with my doctor and adjust hormones to increase my progesterone with only experimental research supporting it.

• I was not charged with a felony therefore losing my ability to vote.

My husband of 13 years and I are very “pro life” for our incoming little girl, but she WOULD NOT BE HERE without my ability to have choice over my body.

I am so angry as I write “was” to all the protections I had that this daughter of mine will not have. The most protected her body will ever be is inside me right now. I hate this. When exactly is the moment she goes from being a “precious, innocent life to be protected” to a mandatory womb regardless of HER health or circumstance?

Those still hanging in there as pro life. I am fighting for reproductive choice for you too. I want you to be able to make your choice to keep your baby and not have the state ordain what happens in your womb. You can be pro life in a pro choice world, but you can not have reproductive freedom in a pro life one. Did you know that the government has been forcibly and secretly sterilizing black and native women for over a century? What happens if somehow you or someone you love is decided to be unfit for procreation? What happens when they do something to your body that you don’t approve of? *cough* mandatory vaccines *cough*

I don’t want to see babies die (regardless of what is screamed at me at protests), but I also don’t want to see women and people with uteruses die. And they will. They will bleed out internally waiting for their non viable ectopic pregnancy to be removed after it bursts their fallopian tube. They will be murdered by their partners or predators to avoid being held responsible. They will commit suicide rather than carrying a rapist’s effects to term. They will die in labor with their partners and physicians watching helplessly because the life of the child is more protected.

And before you say it, no, I’m not overreacting…this is already happening.

Even with pro choice in place, the Christian church had 50 years to step up and support women. I have found that most are not really pro life, they are pro birth. Once that baby is carried and delivered, it’s a mic drop. To be pro LIFE, we needed your support overhauling the foster care system. We needed you when voting for reducing costs of child care, formula production, social services, mental health facilities, maternal and family support and gun control. Demanding a woman birth a baby she cannot support but not offering aid when she follows through is not Christlike, it is selfish cowardice.

Now that we are in a post Roe world, I’m asking that my pro lifers step up to the plate. You got what you said you wanted, now get ready to stand up for the women and babies that are about to desperately need aid. Use your money, voice and vote to support the WHOLE life not just the birth. This will mean not voting based on party, but on what a candidates views are. Be brave like you are demanding of all women, this is not a victory you get to walk away from, it’s time to join together, because the work has only gotten bigger.

If you have a uterus, or a wife, mother,daughter or sister you care about, please take time to get past the knee jerk reaction to the word “abortion” and think about everything losing reproductive freedom can mean.

Update: I just put my three month old daughter to sleep in her crib. I can’t explain how much I adore this little girl, but being a parent is hard work, really hard. Now, more than ever I believe that it would be inhumane to force a person to have a child they were not prepared for or did not want. It is not fair to that person, or that child. No child should have to be raised in a shadow of resentment. When we give birth, we are changed emotionally, physically and physiologically. Having a child is life changing, and we deserve to be in charge of that change.